I got in!!!

Yipee!

I got into my preferred program for the Yoga Teacher Training Program!
I found out last week, about 5 days after I sent my application.  I had a feeling that it might be that simple as well fast for acceptances.  But I still couldn't help but be nervous about it all.

Just over a week to go and all my remaining curiosities will be answered.

The Langara 250hr YA TTP is set over six months; starting in September and ending in February.  There are two components to the programming.  There is the core program, which is essentially every other weekend, both Saturday and Sunday, each day is 9.5 hrs long including your hour lunch. The second part is the Yoga Series which is an hour and a half every week and 12 weeks long, the first six set in September and October and the rest in January and February.

I am really excited to find out what this class means since the program hardly even mentions the yoga series.  This is the clearest description on it: "...for students to integrate and practice learned techniques and methodologies with peers." Based on this, I'm thinking that it will be a place for us to both practice yoga (take an average studio class) and as we learn to teach, it will become a safe place to teach to our peers.

I think one of my biggest fears at the moment is that we will get to the end of the program and I will not have taught any classes at all, so when I do get to the front of a class, it will still feel foreign and frightening!  I know this fear is not reasonable and one of the reason I opted for this program was that it seemed honorary as both a school and a program and it will live up to the expectations I have put on the table.

Tomorrow I will list the books that I have purchased for the program.  They should (fingers crossed!) arrive by friday or early next week. and as I read them I will be sure to review them.

I am SOOOO excited!

~peace and acceptance

Crossing my Fingers

I dropped off my application for the Yoga Teacher Training program at Langara College yesterday.

I'm biting my fingers.

On one side I feel really confident that I will be accepted, but on the other I'm really nervous that something won't be good enough. Like maybe I totally goofed on my letter or perhaps my letter of reference isn't good enough (well it wasn't my first choice of refrence-ees...). Or maybe I waited to long for my first choice to not deliver... what if so many possibilities!

I'm trying to tell myself that I should relax and take everything in stride (which I am usually pretty good at), but this program, in every way, seems perfect for me.

I feel like it could be weeks before I hear anything. Yet the program is only weeks away!

This will be a lesson in faith. Having faith in myself and in others. which will be good since lately I feel my faith in others is constantly being disappointed.

Well everyone, cross your fingers for me... just in case!

yogaslackers - a weird middle between climbing and yoga

Allow for Peace and Provide Forgiveness

Generally speaking when I get onto my mat to begin a class I often allow my intention to be focus, strength and courage.  Sometimes the teacher will put an intention on the table which I borrow if it suits me.  Whatever it might be I mash it up through my breathing, through my movement, and I witness how this idea might weave throughout my life.

Every once in a while I get onto my mat and I make my intention to simply quiet my mind and let go.  That is to let go of any anger, frustration and hurt that I might be holding inside.  This always works while I am on the mat, yet it is never permanent.  I quickly forget, and shortly after a practice my mind start racing again with my thoughts and ideas.  So that peace and acceptance gained is always partially lost.

The other morning, I entered my practice with such frustration and such anger; feelings I have been feeling on and off for well over a year now.  It was interesting, because they were not the normal lingering thoughts, they didn't trail in behind me, they were a culmination of all my negative feelings.  I realized I was holding onto something big as we started the class. The feeling was intense while we were preparing our bodies for our OMs.   When the teacher invited us to choose our intention I immediately knew I could not simply "let go".  This was larger than anything I had felt before. It shook my body.

So my intention was peace and forgiveness.

It took me three tries to successfully centre myself.  Three times!

Each time I realized my thoughts were running, my anger was coursing.  I was playing it over in my mind, rolling it around.  Physically, I felt my eyes, they were violently chatting to the tune of my feelings.  Every time, I would remind myself of where I was, what I was doing and why I needed to breath. Allow for peace and provide forgiveness.

Conveniently after class I was hit with a bombshell, which I think any practiced yogi could be forgiven for letting her intention go.

Thinking about my day right now, some of my conversations, I remember, I felt that same familiar anger and frustration.  Yesterday too.  So now I remember my intention:

Allow for peace and provide forgiveness.

This is what I need to carry on my sleeve, not my anger and frustration.

and after the last few days I think I can start.